Are You F*ing For Real?

So kids, it's another one of those nights where there's literally crap all over the house from your cute-but messy little asses dumping shit everywhere and then just leaving it for mommy today, but I'm writing. Because I want to and because the house is quiet and I'm drinking coffee. And, I'm bemused. Last week, as we were watching The Polar Express together, out of nowhere comes this blaring, highly colorific, sexually exploitive preview for one helluva classy show called Teen Mom on MTV.

So cute, and all the bright colors! Kids love bright colors!

So I decide, I'll write ABC and let them know how I feel about it. Here's what I wrote:

"To Whom It May Concern: While watching The Polar Express on ABC with two of my children, ages 3 and 6, I was extremely disturbed and infuriated at the commercials and previews taking place for Teen Mom on MTV. While I understand that this show was at 7pm, it is a family movie, in fact I think it's even rated G. It's upsetting to me as a parent that while I strive to censor the images they see and what they hear that is outside of their age range, we were taken advantage of by your network as you felt it necessary to plug a very sexually explicit, inappropriate commercial, and targeting it to children and families. Please work at being more mindful of your audience when selecting the commercials you're choosing to play during family movies. Thank you." (By the way, I liked it. I thought it was pretty good.)

Here's what they wrote (today):

Perfect.

"Thank you for your email and sharing your concerns regarding commercial content during THE POLAR EXPRESS. This movie was a presentation of the Disney Channel. Unfortunately WLS-TV Chicago, although part of the Disney family, has no input into or connection with programming and content on the Disney Channel. Visit the link below for contact information for the Disney Channel. http://disney.go.com/guestservices/faq?id=disneychannel18 We hope this is of assistance."

I can totally see how this relates to Polar Express, right? I mean, no doubt. Don't all children who believe in Santa strive to grow up to tattoo their baby on them? I mean, that totally makes sense.

Uh, no. It's not actually of assistance. Because here's what I read when I finally got the Disney site:

"How do I contact Disney Channel regarding programming suggestions or concerns? For questions and concerns on Disney Channel programming, please call our 24-hour Audience Relations line at 1-818-460-7477. You will be able to leave a sixty second message with your question or concern. Also available at this number are instructions for sending an email or postal letter to Disney Channel, information about the Disney Channel website and information on how to show the Show Schedule for Disney Channel programming. Messages will be reviewed on a daily basis. Did this answer your question?"

Really? Are You F*ing For Real? So what I do I do? I'm leaving a message...and sending an email. All for the sake of audience censorship. Someone's got to, right?

Where Do You Find Parental Inspiration?

Look outward, outside yourself, outside what Char Wenz (author, speaker, professor, therapist) has once called, "parenting myopia" (when you can't see the forest for the trees pertaining to your own children).

Where does your inspiration for being a good parent come from?

Magazines?
Blogs?
Websites on parenting?
Friends?
Family members?
TV shows?
Movies?
Books?
Songs?
Strangers?
Plays?
Neighbors?
God?
Church and Religion and/or Spirituality?
Celebrities?

How about mistakes?
Can you be inspired to be better by the parenting mistakes made in the past? I think so. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that many of us strive to do better after we've had a bad day with our children. Or better than what our parents did. Mistakes are a tool to grow by, to learn from. We don't like how they feel once we've figured out we've made them, but the growth that comes afterward is pretty great.

Hold onto the great moments, because those are also tools for growth.
They're also times when you get to say, I did a great job today.

I look outside myself constantly for parenting inspiration, and I have much to chose from. Do you?

How Well Can You Roll With It Kids?

Sometimes you need to be strict, stick to your guns, have really strong boundaries. Like, when someone tries to pressure you into something that doesn't feel right, or when you believe in something with a passion so fervent you can feel it in your core. Or, if you have crazy in-laws. I don't, just for the record.

Being strict, doesn't necessarily mean strong though. I've met many people who are strict in their self-guided rules and disciplines, their thoughts on everyday life, what their children should and should not do, who happen to have a really hard time when life throws them a curve ball.

If I had a choice, I'd be balanced. But, I don't. My biological makeup means that I'm more tense and more of a spazz than I'd like to be. I have a hard time being flexible, it takes work. Lots and lots of work. But I have a lifetime membership in this department, and luckily, this is something I get to work on everyday.

Life throws curve balls. It just does. We have two choices when this happens: Burying our heads in the sand and pretending it didn't, or, being mindful, feeling it, and learning from it.

What I'm trying to pass on, is the importance of being able to take a step back, away from any problem, big, small, in the middle and say this, wholeheartedly:

"This is going to be okay."

Oh, and just one more point I'd like to pass on...Just because you're willing to roll with it, doesn't necessarily mean it's painless. Pain is part of life. As is growth. The two go hand in hand if you can see it. But, when you can't, it's not the time to throw curve balls at others, it's the time to reflect, quietly to yourself and confidants only and see things not just as what they are, but what they could be.

And Here's the Thing About Happy Moms

Happy moms also love happy fashion, and happy time for themselves to find some :)

Enjoy!

let it snow by jnne featuring low shoes

Okay Kids, Here's the Thing About In-laws

When you get married, if your spouse still has a relationship with his/her parents, so will you. I've heard about many, many gnarley in-law interactions. One of my favorites is when a friend of mine, pregnant with her fourth child, went to share the news with her M-I-L. After doing so, the MIL got up, walked out the door, and drove away.

I can't say that some of the stories I've heard aren't humorous, and just like marriage, there really are no "perfect" relationship when it comes to parents, but there are definitely positive ones.

The number One reason for in-law discord: Boundaries. Have healthy ones, insist that those in your circle respect them, and if they don't, make a change.

My mother-in-law has been here for the past 24 hours. She's uber-helpful, respectful, and loves, loves my kids. Plus, we laugh. It's a pretty good time, and I appreciate her. And, I need all the help I can get right now.

I would love to hear your greatest in-law moments!

The Scent of a Baby

I can smell Hudson's sweetness on me tonight. I fed him his nighttime bottle (or baba as we like to call it) and then Ali put him to bed. It's been an hour already and I can smell him on my shoulder. He sat snuggled, facing forward with his hand over his eyes sipping his baba as though we haven't missed a beat.

Ali's been amazing. She picked up with the kids where I left off. It's a beautiful thing we've come to create, this sister dance we do with the kids. She loves them as I do, snuggles them, kisses their boo-boos and puts them to bed, in so much of the same way I do, with the love and the comfort. I sleep well at night knowing that when I'm resting during the day, much is well around me.

Something I saw in my mom yesterday changed my view of her forever. I realized as she snuggled Hudson, sounding like me, saying the same things I say to him, cozying and cuddling and loving him with so much that you can feel it touching your heart, that I am an extension of her in this way. We are all passing it on.

Good Stuff to Pass On from Mind in the Making Author

Mind in the Making author Ellen Galinsky will be answering your questions about parenting and child-raising from November 7th through the 11th. Click on her book below to be directed if you're interested. Check her and her stuff out! It's good.